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Talking Up a Storm

Joan Rivers’ humor runs deep at the Venetian

By Bobbie Katz

It may be a desert out here, but all you have to do is put one foot inside the Venetian Showroom from September 23-October 2 to encounter another force of nature at play—the juicy things coming from the Rivers’ mouth.

Yes, Rivers, as in Joan, will be dishing the dirt as irreverence flows and unconventionality spouts. But that’s exactly what people expect from this popular legendary comedienne who long ago made her unique Rivers bed and loves to catch others lying in it—yep, with mud on their faces, too.

Can we talk?

“That came from my shaking things up and talking about things that people don’t expect and don’t like to admit to themselves sometimes,” Rivers explains about her aforementioned signature phrase. “With my friends, I was always like that. But I’m not afraid to say anything, which opens up a lot of doors. For example, Michael Douglas is a dear, dear friend of mine whom I adore and he’s battling throat cancer. I put him into my act on opening night here but the audience wasn’t ready to accept it.

“The challenge for me today is keeping the public aware of me,” the winner of Season 2 of Celebrity Apprentice continues. “The last few years, with age, people have gotten used to me. Celebrity Apprentice re-established that I’m still here. And I have no boundaries anymore. I’m free. What are they going to do to me now? Fire me? The public expects me to be funny—I’m no longer a surprise. Because of that, I feel that I always have to top myself so never, never, never do I let down.”

What keeps the 77-year-old Rivers going is her sheer love of the work and the business, which she admits is not work to her. She loves the entire process of what she does, from the creating to the writing and the performing on stage. In Vegas, her act is about 10-15 percent ad-lib and she notes that her material is drawn from what’s happening in the news, talking to friends and that some of it just naturally happens, coming to her while she’s on stage. She writes things on cards that she takes on stage, which she says she has done for years.

In terms of getting ready for her show, Rivers says that she has coffee and M&M’s before going out to perform. She acknowledges that nothing is easy and that it has never been easy, revealing that she is a great preparer and a great worrier and that she worries constantly about whether audiences will like her show and whether they’ll get their money’s worth. However, she states non-egotistically that she truly thinks that she is the funniest person doing standup comedy today.

So then, the question is, will the real Joan Rivers stand up?  In terms of whether she is the same person onstage and off, Rivers comments that we’re all so many different people.

“I recently did a movie called Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work,” she says. “People who have seen it have said to me that they had no idea I was like that. Everybody’s a lot of things. I’m angry on stage but am I angry offstage? No.”

The things that do ruffle Rivers and get her ire up are hypocrisy, lying and people who don’t face the truth. Another thing that makes her angry is aging and people who patronize her because of it.

“I find aging disgusting,” she states.

Still, whatever Rivers has gone through in her life, her tenacity and humor have pulled her through.

“After I lost my Fox-TV show and Edgar committed suicide, I couldn’t get arrested,” she admits. “But everyone has hot times and cold times. I was the last one of my group to break through. I came up with Woody Allen, Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Dick Cavett and David Brenner. We were all working in the Village at the same time, along with Barbra Streisand and Simon and Garfunkel. Looking back, it was much harder because I was a woman. No one ever expected a woman to say the things that I was saying. Now, you hear all these whining women on stage—there are no boundaries today.

“I remember one time when Woody Allen, Bill Cosby, George Carlin, Billy Crystal and I were all having lunch in New York,” she adds. “Edgar said that we looked like we were discussing a funeral. I think comedians are all very introspective—and all of us are great depressives. But I look at things in two ways. You can either become more depressed or you can make a joke out of what depresses you, which is the way you get on top of it.”

From looking at Rivers accomplishments, the other way must be to keep busy. Besides being an internationally known comedienne, she is also a Tony-nominated actress, best-selling author, Emmy Award-winning talk show host, playwright, screenwriter, lecturer, syndicated radio host, motion picture director, columnist, jewelry designer, cosmetic company entrepreneur, fashion laureate, businesswoman—and a mother and grandmother, above all. In fact, over the last 21 years, her self-designed jewelry (she now has two other designers working with her) sold on QVC has grossed $1 billion

Currently, Rivers is preparing for a new reality show called Joan Knows Best? that she will be doing with her daughter, Melissa, which will begin airing in January 2011. She claims that she loves challenges and probably has ADD because she always wants to do something else. She doesn’t want to remarry, likes life just the way it is, and her “most glorious” moments are getting into bed with a stack of books and doing nothing. 

The latter has little to do with her future aspirations, however, which are to do a serious movie, go back to Broadway, write another play and do a sitcom. So for those of you who just may have been thinking that Rivers might be considering retirement, we’ll respond in her lingo: Oh, grow up!!

Human Flight

Keep your feet off the ground

By Cozy Stone

Look, up in the air … it’s a bird … It’s a plane … No, it’s me! Look at me being air-propelled in the air at 120 mph, then, tossed into a 12-foot, foam-padded wall, and then tucking and rolling for my fall out of the wind stream. Ask me if I had a great time. Ask me if I had a splendiferous time. Ask me if my 8-year-old inner child was exhilarated.  Go ahead, dang it, ask me!

My responses are yes, yes and yes! Woo-hoo. I couldn’t even “hold on” at the heights I was soaring.  I have high dived. I have (not yet) actually sky dived. But, not until today, have I ever indoor skydived! May I say … whoa! 

The moment I walked into this electrically charged venue, the hairs on my arms started to rise. Somehow the pupils in my irises started to pulsate in anticipation. The reason for my physical sensations was the overhead monitor showing “divers,” in action. Is my body really going to stay up in the air? (Dare I mention the extra pounds I cannot seem to shed?)

I was put in the hands of one very strong, very tall, 6’8”, professional instructor, Justin Knorr. Yes, it did help that he was “totally cute,” but I did mention very strong, didn’t I?  From the moment Justin lead us to our brief training session, he made us feel at ease with his wit and humor. He made it all seem basic, but at the same time, pin-pointed all the safety precautions.

After our training session, we were lead into the equipment room where we were layered with our flight gear, consisting of Velcro-laced jumpsuits, goggles, helmets, ear plugs, gloves, safety shoes and socks (I wore my Sketchers) … think Michelin Man or Woman!  We had to remove anything and everything that could come off in the 120 mph wind tunnel.

We waited for the group of five ahead of us to finish their 15 minute session. Each person gets 3 minutes of this personable participation. In my group there were two teenage brothers (15 and 17) from Los Angeles, a 7-year-old from Chicago, and a 39-year-old from Bloomington /Normal, Illinois. We were all first timers.  We gave each other thumbs up after each maneuver! We bonded as we waited our turn—or shall I say our toss!

I trusted in the safety of the professional instructor to throw my body against a padded column without any injuries, and I had a blast as I felt like I was it’s in a cotton candy machine, light, airy and sweet. I felt like a 4-year-old, jumping up and down on a giant trampoline, without any care in the world, soaring in the air with reckless abandon. Not only did I enjoy being thrown, I thoroughly enjoyed being tossed and turned as well.  The terms that comes to mind is kowabunga, awesome, exhilarating, wonderfully scary, I expected to fly, and I flew!

Justin, who used to be a stage hand at The Blue Man Group, is one of 17 instructors. He has been enjoying his position for a little more than two years. All of the instructors must be certified; and, all of them are physically fit. These are rigorous workouts they receive tossing their customers in the air, all day long, so they’d better be, huh?!

One of the instructors, Rob Grills, 29, started attending training classes here for the experience before he began outdoor sky diving.  He needed more free-fall time.  He thinks of his job as, “a gym membership with a pay check!”

Indoor skydiving can be enjoyed by the entire family. I was told the youngest “flyer” so far has been 18 months old; the oldest has been 90. There is a minimum and maximum weight limit. There are those seeking certification to become a professional sky diver instructor that attend classes here at this Indoor Skydiving facility. Simply put, it is a valuable venue for novices and professionals alike.

If you, like me, have an addictive personality for thrill seeking, you must, you just must, visit Las Vegas Indoor Skydiving.  It’s flying, in its unique splendor with no airplane, no parachute. You will want to go again and again. And if not, you will be exhilarated over your one-time experience.

The cost for a single flight $75, same-day repeat flight $40, book of five $200, one-person coaching session $250 and a family block, including video $325.  Reservations or walk-ins welcome.

The Las Vegas Indoor Skydiving, 200 Convention Center Dr., current hours of operation: 8:45 a.m.-8 p.m. Contact information 702-731-0051or  877-545-8093, http://www.vegasindoorskydiving.com, email: info@vegasindoorskydiving.com.

Rockin’ Outside Vegas

Red Rock Canyon offers the hushed calm of spectacular views

By Cozy Stone

Think about this:  only 20 miles outside of Las Vegas is nature’s isolation, quiet and beauty: Think about a temporary getaway into the desert. Think about Red Rock Canyon where you can share some quality time with friends, family and loves.

Red Rock Canyon offers plenty for the outdoor activist. My friend and I ventured out with our sunscreen, water, sturdy sneakers, hats and sunglasses for a day of fun, sun and an education.  Once we arrived, we city slickers, klutzes that we are, decided to try our hand at a small hike. What a grand choice! Lo and behold, we were able to witness a waterfall cascading into one of the canyons. 

We shared our jaunt with joggers, bicyclists, other hikers and rock climbers (who went much further up the mountain range than we would have ever considered). There were also plenty of tourists/sightseers capturing the moments.

This popular year-round beautiful desert attraction is alive with red and multicolored cliffs and abundant wildlife. We personally witnessed burros, rabbit, and one big horn sheep. We didn’t see any lions, tigers or bears (oh my!), but we were told there are mountain lions, red tailed hawks and wild horses in the immediate area (run, Cozy, run).

At one point, I decided to yodel into the mountains and received the caw-cawing back from something with a beak and wings that flies. I found this entertaining,  and silly person that I am, I kept this going for a while. Other tourists in the area were just as amused and surprised that I was actually “communicating with nature.”  Be that as it may, it added to the uniqueness of the adventure.

We took incredible photos at each of the 13-mile scenic loop points. Actually, we now have close to 200 photos. It’s easy to do with the breathtaking surroundings.

You most likely came to Las Vegas for the excitement that the Strip has to offer. But, if you tire of it, remember that it will still be there after you find yourself regrouping/exhaling from a day with incomparable beauty. This reporter showered and slept like a baby at the end of this day. You will too.

Red Rock Canyon is a great place for a picnic, a marriage proposal, a wedding, a hand-holding walk and lots more. Are you there? Be sure to include Red Rock Canyon in your vacation plans.

Red Rock is open from 6 a.m.-8 p.m.  The Visitor’s Center is open daily from 8 a.m -4:30 p.m. The cost is $5 per car or $2 per motorcyclist. You can purchase an annual pass for $20. For more information, contact: www.redrockcanyonlv.org  or 702-515-5350.

Oops!  Here Comes the Neighborhood

Tommy Rocker’s gives great food, music and comedy for locals and tourists alike

By Cozy Stone

Everyone has a neighborhood haunt and what they have in common is first and foremost the comfort and security of having a good time in an establishment that offers everything you could possibly want in an evening: great food and drink, a variety of entertainment, and a place to relax without the “rambunctious ones” (you know who you are). 

I’ll bet there is a good deal of tourists visiting our dazzling city that are looking for such a place on their vacations. Well, allow me to direct you to the place for you, located just two traffic lights from the Strip, west on Flamingo, and within walking distance from the Rio. It’s called Tommy Rocker’s Mojave Beach Bar & Grill.

Tommy Rocker, a real person is a transport from Seaside, Oregon. How many law school graduates do you know who decided to make a living as a musician? Before planting his roots in Las Vegas in 1989, Rocker played music all over the world.

So what’s at Tommy Rocker’s? For starters, there is the excellent award-winning food (“Best Burger” from AOL City Guide). The bartenders, servers and cooks have been there for more than 15 years (personally, I think they are the best in the city). I will guarantee you that the entire menu will satisfy even the pickiest tastes.

Tommy Rocker or other musicians perform every Friday and Saturday. So why not have a few shots of Tequila or Yaeger, and sing along on stage—in fact you’re invited. Like to dance?  This definitely is the place to let your hair down.

For Jimmy Buffet fans, on the first Wednesday of every month, Tommy Rocker’s is home of the Las Vegas Parrot Club. For comedy lovers, every Friday, Cozy’s Comedy Corner features local comedians, ranging from amateur to professional. If you’d like to get up and actually perform some comedy, I’m sure Cozy can be talked into saying yes. So, come in with some of your favorite jokes, get on stage, go home with a prize.

Tommy Rocker’s is open 24-7 and offers plenty of parking.  No reservations necessary. 4275 Dean Martin Dr., 702-261-6688 www.tommyrocker.com. You must be over 21.Take the Flamingo Road west exit off I-15 then left on Hotel Rio Drive and right on Dean Martin. If coming from Tropicana, head north on Dean Martin Drive and it's right before the Flamingo Rd. overpass.